almost awake ...then you ran away

Taken by surprise. I almost tripped and lost myself down the rabbit hole. Where did I go? Where did you come from? I’m not perfect but I keep pushing. Taken by surprise I didn’t realize that you’d be there. Standing around the next corner.
I fell. Head over heels, and came crashing down upon the realization that I was waking up. That all along the best part of being asleep for years is when you wake up. When you feel the sun. Embrace the rain. Skip the numb. And realize that there is life after death . that the soul is just hibernating to insulate itself.
Insulating yourself tends to lock away the best parts of life and of you. I know. I ran. I hid. I ducked around every corner hoping to not run into you.
Romanticism. That’s what it is. Romanticized the best parts of you. Romanticized me. That I could be awake. That I could dream. That I could become some part of the larger puzzle of you.
You said a lot. So did i. We built something. We were climbing the tower to Rapunzels dungeon. Climbing up to a better place. Better View. Better us.
I had butterflies. Was it the soaring heights? Was it the view down below as I took my journey on wings? Was it holding my breath as I was too nervous to speak? As my tongue tied mouth tried to be conversational, aloof, intelligent, articulate, and something other than the bumbling fool I felt to be on the inside. Tripping over my feet or my brain or my tongue tied butterfly ridden, heat pounding, blood pressure spiked soul when you were near.
It was definitely a surprise to wake up and run into you. Not expecting anything but the cold ice reflecting off of my cold guarded soul. My being flushed when you came by. My temperature rose. My eyes misted with the realization that I’ve opened my eyes to possibility.
That I’ve opened my eyes to the place I dared not go. A place I dared not speak of. You were there. Albeit briefly, you were there. You saw me. You smiled. You were glad to be a part of me. For a minute. Nonstop to non-talk. Odd place, Odd feeling to be.
Abrupt rupture of all conversation of though. Fear. Or the possibility that we could soar on wings. Dance in the rain. Embrace without pushing away. And know that the journey…whether long or short. Would be a journey worth taking you and I.
A journey where you were there. Walking with me. Sunsets, dirt roads, water, beaches, and soaring through the sky to places higher than I’ve dreamed in years. Higher than I’ve ever dared to believe.
Soul awakened. Soul dreaming. Soul alive.

Only to be stopped short. By Silence.