What in the world...

I'm sitting here wondering...how exactly do you go through a single day withouot thoughts of another. More specifically, trust one day, not the next.
The example of a leper. I am he. Yet I wonder, what part is falling off of me.
Could it be my extremities?
Or some other internal structure of me that is slowly decaying.
My liver and lungs, at an alarming rate of personal destruction.
My heart, even more quickly, at the expense of my soul,
Yet now, unrelated to my doing,
I am forced to acknowledge that I am not who i thought I was.
My mettle is less than.
I am succombing to the withering internal combustion.
Yet I refuse to be beaten...
I am searching, however, for a reason...
My motto...
If pain and difficulty make you stronger,
I do not wish to be a body builder.
So i will continue to minimize my pain.
However well or poorly i achieve that.
And I will press on.
As I am being pressed in from all sides.
And I still wonder,
How is it, that I am still an afterthought?

But not to everyone...
And I will rise...however slowly, I will rise.